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Work On Your Game Content/mental toughness/Why You Need To Address Things (And People) Directly
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Why You Need To Address Things (And People) Directly

I enjoy using the Clubhouse app for two specific reasons. 
1. Since the only thing you can do there is speak (no photos, videos, or comments), good public speaking skills shine. 
2. Being that all interaction is live and verbal, it’s a great place to study people. 

A few weeks ago, some guy joined a room I was co-hosting on the topic of book publishing. The room was an open Q&A. He asked to join the stage. When he got his chance to speak, used his opportunity to self-promote his books and generally talk himself up. The guy never asked a question. 
While this can be OK in some situations and rooms, this room was not one of them. There were 6 moderators running the room. We all had things to sell. We could have all spent the whole 2 hours with just the moderators selling and promoting our own stuff. 

It’s an unwritten rule of manners and “home training” to not put your feet on the couch in someone else's living room. It’s an unwritten rule of Clubhouse, and everywhere online, to not promote your shit on other people's platforms, especially when 1) the people hosting the room ALL sell their own things and 2) you do not have explicit permission to promote your stuff on someone else's stage. 

When I go on someone’s podcast, for example, I always ask them if it’s OK for me to share my book and where listeners can go buy it. Why do I ask? To show respect to the fact that I’m in their space. 
If you're reading this and have NEVER used Clubhouse, even you understand what I just explained. 
As this audience-member-turned-speaker kept talking about himself, I shut him down. I announced to the room exactly what I just explained to you. This guy should have known these things, if what he was saying about himself (in-demand speaker, best selling author) was indeed true. 
The room continued and concluded without incident. Then something interesting happened. 
The lead moderator of the room texted me shortly after. She said that this guy had DM’d her on Instagram voicing his displeasure at my comments, profanity and interruption. In his DMs, he felt that he had been disrespected for no good reason. 
Whether I agree or not are all besides the point. 
Here’s what perplexed me: while the guest babbler had messaged her, he didn’t message ME at all.
No one else had said anything to or about this guy and his bloviating. All the other moderators were female; it’s not like he didn't know who was speaking when I addressed him. I’m pretty easy to locate online. If he could find any of the other moderators, he could find me. 
But, despite his being bothered by the exchange, he never addressed me. 


I grew up in an era where we didn't have smartphones. 
If you needed to say something to someone, you either called them, wrote a letter, or waited until you saw them in person. A lot of interaction -- positive, negative, and anything in-between -- happened face-to-face. Anything you weren't willing to say to someone’s face, you kept to yourself. There were fewer outlets for passive aggression. 
Social media has drastically changed this dynamic. 
I still operate by those principles, though I’m a heavy smartphone user and social media consumer. I don't vent personal grievances through comments and captions. If something needs to be said to a particular person, I say it to that person, in as direct a way as I possibly can. 
I expect this standard from all males. 
We used to have five-letter words to describe men who didn't abide by these standards. It’s a new day though, and I generally don't expect this mentality from the under-30 crowd. I don't know the age of the guy in question from my story. 
BUT… either way, If you have enough of an issue that you’re speaking on it, but won't be direct with the other person, I don't respect it. 
Times change. Principles do not. 
Speaking of being direct, my Bulletproof Mindset 2.0 course has an entire module on mastering communication --- with yourself and with others. With this, you can stop mincing words and holding yourself back from saying what you REALLY want to say. 

Get details and get started here: 
Start Your Bulletproof Mindset 2.0 Course Now

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