This grown woman is really gonna sit here and cry in the middle of a sales meeting, I thought. I'm still not budging -- that membership commission is MINE.

We were in the manager's office of a gym I worked at and there was a dispute over a membership sale. I had sold a guy a membership the previous week, and he put his wife on his referrals list to me when he signed up. The wife happened in the next day -- my off day -- and Melissa signed up the wife without having to even show her the facility. I claimed the sale belonged to me and the dispute turned into an argument in our Monday morning sales meeting.

We were paid on commission and the last thing I was going to do was give up an easy sale, work relationships be damned. I wasn't trying to build a career at that gym; I just wanted the money so I could get the hell out of there ASAP. With the other two salespeople and two mangers in attendance, Melissa and I went at it verbally until it was clear she was losing. So she turned on the waterworks. It didn't help that our manager Gary, was a sensitive homosexual.

I don't remember if I ended up with the commission, but the message I sent by taking the stance I took was clear. I didn't have any more sales disputes the rest of my time at that job.

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Someone I knew hadn't spoken to me lately, and it had passed through my mind to question why I hadn't heard from this person. It turned out that this person was not happy with me because of something I'd said to them.

Really? ME???

I was talking to my grandmother last week and she summed up my thoughts on these situations perfectly: "When somebody is mad at you, they'll either get over it or die with it." Couldn't have said it better myself.

I'm not the make-you-happy type. I am much more concerned with getting the result -- for myself (if I have to move you out of my way) and for you (when I have to tell you exactly as it is). Rarely do I aim to make people like me. It's more important to get the job done and if I make people like me along the way, great. If not --- did I get the result? Then, great.

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• Tell people the truth -- they'll respect you more for it in the long run, despite temporary pain. And it's good practice for you for the next time you'll need to do it.

• Call people on their bullshit. That person may hate you in the moment but have something to think about for the next few days and weeks. And it's good practice for you for the next time you'll need to do it.

• Lose your fear of offending people. Not everyone is going to agree with you and there will come times you need to claim your space. And it's good practice for you for the next time you'll need to do it.


• If one person gets over on you, everyone will get over on you because word will get around that you're the one to get over on. Make an example out of one person and everyone else will steer clear of you. And it's good practice for you for the next time you'll need to do it.