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It’s ironic that I played a team sport like basketball, because I’ve never been the best “team” guy — in sports or anything else.

I don’t know where it started — I could probably get to the root of it after a few sessions with a good therapist — but for as long as I can remember, I’ve always had a drive to make sure that there was a clear, demonstrable difference between me and anyone else who was doing the same thing I was doing.

This is probably why I loved practicing by myself, but never liked practicing with the team: With the team, we all had to do all the same stuff. I liked having my own routine that was, to me, better than anyone else’s.

This tendency — this need — to separate myself from others through my performance, my results, etc., has me often feeling like a loner, even though I know a lot of people.

It’s a weakness in that I don’t try hard to connect with many people. I generally have short patience with others. I’m the anti-version of a “people pleaser.” It’s hard for me to be a part of a group for a long time without exerting my influence.

But it’s a strength in that it’s driven all of my accomplishments. It fuels my competitiveness. It helps me be OK with going at things alone.

And I wouldn’t change it for anything.

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