NBA player Russell Westbrook has a problem.
Russ is a dynamic, explosive player who has a reputation for always playing hard, actually playing in the games (more than can be said of many of his All-Star peers), and being an athletic player who dunks with ferocity.
Russ will be in the NBA Hall Of Fame. His crowning achievement as of today: Averaging a season-long “triple double” (having “double figures” in 3 categories - usually points / rebounds / assists - in the same game) 4 times in his career, while only one other player has done it even once (though many have come close).
Though he has great stats, Russ-led teams haven’t come close to winning championships. His stats are impressive, critics say, but does it lead to winning?
(This is a fair question. Winning is the objective of the game.)
Russell Westbrook is a polarizing player, the type whom every fan has a strong opinion about. No one is “neutral” in their opinion of his game.
Russ’ general weakness (at least, to the untrained eye who only notices the movement of the ball) is that he’s a subpar outside shooter.
As such, Russ’ many critics took to calling him Russell WestBRICK – a play on his last name that invokes a euphemism for a basketball shot that has no chance of going in (i.e., the ball hits the rim or backboard like a “brick” when it misses).
This isn't a new thing, and it only comes out when Russ has a conspicuously poor performance.
The Problem: For the past few seasons, Russ has drawn (and attempted to enforce) his own personal line on fan conduct.
Russ is now attempting to police the “Westbrick” language.
A year or two ago, Russ announced that any use of “Westbrick” was now deemed “disrespect” of him and his family name, and he would be approaching any fan who dared use it within earshot. His son is old enough to understand what’s being said about his dad now, Russ explained, and that’s reason enough to nip such behavior in the bud.
As such, Russ has had a few run-ins (read: Shouting matches) with random good-seat-holding fans who have – allegedly – “disrespected” Russ’ name.
I’m dubious of this approach, for five reasons.
1) You Can’t Approach Everyone.
Russ has been filmed approaching a few fans for allegedly calling him out of his name, as explained above. But what about when the fan is twenty rows up, yelling down to you?
What if an entire section of the arena does it?
What is Russ’ plan then?
This idea of, “I’m gonna approach anyone who says this one thing that I don't like'' doesn't work when you’re the fish in the fishbowl. You're too easy of a target, with more shooters than you can shoot back at.
2) You’re Not Gonna Do Anything.
If someone is doing something you don't like, you have options.
You can ignore them and move on.
You can, in the case of an athlete in a game, perform better and shut them up indirectly. Think, what Kobe Bryant or Michael Jordan would do to handle a heckling fan at a road game.
You can, in all fairness, approach them. But this brings its own set of problems.
For one, the NBA is VERY sensitive to hostile fan-player interaction after the little incident in Detroit in 2005 (if you’re unfamiliar, YouTube “Malice in The Palace” and get your popcorn ready).
Two, you’re setting yourself up for a lose-lose scenario.
If you approach a person with this energy of feeling “disrespected,” you better be willing to take things further.
Say you approach a fan based on their words, and they DON’T stop saying the thing you don't like. What are you gonna do, Russ? Hit him?
Doing so would be a foolish (and costly) decision for Russell Westbrook. Russ is not gonna do that. Which means, he shouldn't be approaching fans in the first place.
You look silly, and the fan who was heckling you is now laughing at you (or suing you). He just got you to focus on him, when it should be the other way around and stay that way.
3) You’re Using Your Son as a Crutch for Your Own Desires.
Russ claims that this whole thing is about protecting his son from hearing Daddy’s name being trashed. This sounds good, but is a flimsy pretext for what Russ himself wants to do.
Russ’ son can see an online video. He can find out why his dad is yelling at fans. He can see posts on social media. Russell Westbrook can’t hide the “Westbrick” stuff from his children. His overreactions to it make it even more visible.
His son is an excuse for Russ’ childish insecurities about the taunt.
Look, I’d be annoyed, too, if a bunch of my critics were calling me out of my name in a way that I didn’t appreciate. But, I would need to be smart enough to keep the situation on terrain which I control, which is what I do out there on the court. And the elevated status I enjoy over them. They pay for tickets to watch ME, after all.
At an NBa game, there are 20,000 fans and ~30 players. Trying to police what a random ticket-holding fan has to say is a bad deal.
This is a maturity and ego issue.
4) The Internet Exists.
Speaking of social media.
Russell’s lame excuse that he is trying to protect his son doesn’t add up, being that everyone has access to the Internet.
Someone can call him “Westbrick” on Instagram or TikTok. What does Russ do then? Fight through the phone? Block people? Ban his son from going online?
5) Respect Is Commanded — Not Demanded.
Here is the biggest, most important point of this post.
In the black community, a lot of young males grow up with this mindset of “respect at all costs.”
Many young black men who grow up in environments like the ones that Russell Westbrook and I come from (Russ is from Southern California; I from Philadelphia) value respect more than damn near anything else that can be acquired.
Young black men kill for respect.
Young black men fight over respect.
Young black men do stupid shit to themselves and others to earn respect.
I don’t know Russell Westbrook personally, and don’t know much about how he grew up. But I can hear this influence in how he speaks.
Every time he brings up the fan-approaching behavior he has adopted, he always uses the terms “respect” and “disrespect,” and how he “will not tolerate it.”
Westbrook has earned nine figures playing professional basketball. He grew up with both his mother and father and his life. And he communicates the mentality of someone standing on a street corner, hungry for respect and willing to do anything to get it.
He’s not in the streets, and from what I can tell, didn’t spend much time in the streets. But this — the hunger for “respect” — is what our “culture” sees as cool. In our culture, demanding respect is manly.
The truth is, many young males, including Russell himself, have a false idea of how respect is acquired.
Respect is COmmanded, not DEmanded.
Yes, there’s a difference.
Demands are what you make when, for example, you’re a parent to a child or a boss to an employee. Because of your status and position, and your ability to hand out punishment, people have no choice but to follow your demands.
When you’re in a position to make demands, the people you make demands of need not respect you to follow your word. They may respect you, but they will comply even if they don’t.
When you demand respect and get it, it’s because the person you made demands of, fears your retribution. If they don’t fear it, they won’t listen.
Commanding, on the other hand, is about your spirit, your energy, and your ability to inspire others to WANT to follow your wishes, your lead, and walk in your footsteps.
When you command respect, you never have to mention the word “respect.”
You never have to tell or remind anyone to respect you. You never have to voice concern over being disrespected. People respect you because your energy makes them want to.
Bosses demand.
Leaders command.
When Kobe Bryant played in opposing arenas, fans came to the game specifically to boo him, and hope Kobe had a bad night. But, Kobe’s energy and spirit commanded their respect, all while they never got a second of his direct attention – and even as he had a “normal” game and beat the home team.
When you’re demanding respect, you’ve already lost. Even those who comply are doing so out of fear, not because they have come to respect you.
***
If your goal is to be respected, start by looking in the mirror at yourself. Not out the window at others.
Look at how you are carrying yourself, how you deal with setbacks and challenges, and whether or not you are living in integrity – what you project on the outside reflects what’s happening on the inside.
This leads to respecting yourself, which allows you to carry yourself in a way that makes others respect you.
You’ll never need to say a word about it.
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