We all like to win, and those who like winning the most are the ones who play the most, giving themselves the most chances to experience the feeling. Paradoxically, playing a lot opens you up to the possibility of taking a loss.

When you're a competitor, losses will happen. Why? Because when you're a competitor, you seek out bigger and better foes to measure your performance against. Doing this makes taking a loss inevitable, no matter how good you are. You don't know how good you can be or need to be until you face someone who is better.

There are other people out there, though, who are so averse to losing that they refuse to even put themselves in a position to take a loss. They never lose because they never play. They may even see some virtue in themselves, teasing you about your losses when they -- technically -- didn't lose.

Being afraid to play to avoid loss does mean, in fact, that your record is unblemished. You did not lose. You're right. But abstaining from the game to avoid losing also means you never win.

You're afraid to step up to the challenge -- that's nothing to brag about. That doesn't make you "good" or "undefeated". You're not undefeated unless/until you've been in position to be defeated and survived.

Losers are not the ones who compete and fail to win. Stepping up to a battle is a win in itself. Staying safely at home, in position to neither win nor lose, makes you a loser.