"What's my outcome?" 

Tony Robbins introduced me to this concept and it helps a lot when I remember to think about it. Anything you're doing over the course of your day, ask yourself;

"What's my outcome?" 

Why are you doing it -- what's the desired goal here? It actually works with everything if you think about it. 

Which brings me to the point of this post: what's your outcome in an argument (especially the pointless types that get us in trouble and erode relationships)? Do you really need to win? What do you stand to gain? What do you stand to lose? Is letting this go an option? 

Robert Greene talks about arguing like a seesaw: Up and down you go, back and forth, back and forth, all while getting nowhere. 

Get off the seesaw, leave your adversary in the air, and allow gravity to slowly bring him back down to earth.