When it comes to your mental habits of thinking, you are doing one -- and only one -- of the following:

Choosing your own thoughts
Letting other people choose your thoughts for you

There is no in-between to it.

Which are you? Do you tell yourself how to feel? Do you decide for yourself whether to accept another person's assessment of you, whether positive or negative? Do you focus on what you want over what you don't want? Do you think the way others think, just so you can fit in? Do you bring about your own destruction by telling yourself negative things, over and over again? Why?

Your mind and your way of thinking is the only thing over which any human has complete and unquestioned control of at all times. Everything else is variable, depending on circumstance. There is no circumstance when you don't have the power to control your own thoughts.

So what are you doing with them?