I was a in high school, and she was a junior at Temple University. One of my friends was going to Temple at the time, and invited the rest of us – all still in high school – to a party on campus.

I had found her off dancing by herself near the speakers, close to the stage. We danced together, talked for a while, and exchanged phone numbers. I called her the next day, and met up with her a few days later.

I remember we were down at South Street, in the parking lot overlooking Penn’s landing. I sat in the passenger seat and she sat on my lap. She went out of her way to show me the thong she was wearing.

I was done before it even started.

She pretended not to notice. To this day, I appreciate her for that.

Most things that are worth doing, you won’t be very good at the first time you do that. But you still have to go through it. That’s what experience is, and that’s the only way to get better. There are no hacks or tricks to avoid it. You may lose badly. You may be really embarrassed. You may get laughed at.

But in order to get to the second time, you have to deal with the first time.