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Work On Your Game Content/: Personal Growth/12 Secrets To Happiness & Joy This Christmas
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12 Secrets To Happiness & Joy This Christmas

1) Thankfulness. I shared the concept of making a Thankfulness List in The Mental Workbook. It should be at least 100 items long. My personal list is on number 284.

“Extreme poverty” is defined as living on $1 or less a day. Today, nearly 700 MILLION people live on less than $1.90 per day. Nearly half the world lives on less than $2.50 / day. You’re reading this on an internet-connected device (computer, tablet, smartphone). You have wifi or data plan access. My current, unpaid internet bill is $110.70. If you were born in America, consider it a lucky break.

You create more of whatever you focus on. The more things you count to be thankful for, the more things you’ll have to be thankful for.

2) Connection. I'm in the sales business, just like you. One thing about selling these days is you have to sell yourself just to get the chance to sell yourself.

Just being good or even great isn’t enough anymore. Which is why I teach people how to sell themselves. It’s the second step of the Work On Your Game process (“Show Your Game”).

Selling yourself to grab the attention of just one person can change everything for you.

You will accomplish more through the right relationships than you would on your own. You can't ever work hard enough or be smart enough to do it all on your own. What people do you need to get (back) in touch with? What can you offer them to make it worth their time?

3) Time. 40% of the time when I accept a connection request on LinkedIn, I receive an automated message from the person asking me for a 15-minute call to “explore how we can help each other” (or something similar).

I never respond. An author named Derek Sivers introduced the concept of “Hell Yeah Or No!” That’s how I decide what to say yes to.

Time is your most valuable asset. If you're working, WORK. If you're spending time with someone, BE with them. Make every second count. You can't get time back.

4) Receiving. This goes along with “connection.” Others can — and want to — do things for you that you simply can’t do.

When someone does something for you that you can’t do for you, that person has the power. Let them have that power by allowing them to help you. Win-Win.

The key to great giving is gracious receiving. Letting people give to and help you allows them to feel the same way you feel when you give to others. Ungracious recipients rob others of that feeling.

The best givers are great receivers.

5) Laughter. Every day, I upload my Instagram Story posts to Snapchat. Then I watch this branded Snap story called Fail Army. It’s a bunch of silly videos of people falling, crashing off of skateboards, and other nonsense.

It’s funny. I download the funniest ones and save them, then watch them on repeat and laugh. It’s usually the last thing I look at before I put my phone down for the night. I used to look at TikTok, when it first came out, for funny stuff. But it was too addictive and time-sucking.

One study says children laugh 300-490 times every day, while adults only 4-17 times per day. Find something to laugh at. Download it and laugh at it again tomorrow.

6) Mental Space. Someone asked me if, in the midst of all my “productivity,” I ever take time for myself.

I wake up around 3:50 AM daily. Here’s what I do in my first 3.5 hours:



Water (2 liters)

Exercise (weights or cardio)

Protein shake

Shower / shave

I start working around 7:30. I don’t read email, texts, or communicate with anyone until these things have happened. That self-care empowers me to do the work.

Take some time for yourself that is not an item from someone else’s agenda. Email, texts, phone calls and notifications are other people's agendas, things that they want you to know / reply to.

They can wait.

7) Elimination. Like Derek said, it’s either “Hell Yeah!” Or “NO.”

Get rid of everything that’s cluttering your life. You’re aware of some of them (appointments, people, physical items). Some stuff has been taking up space for so long though that you’ve stopped even noticing. But it’s still taking up space and occupying psychic space in your subconscious mind. That load adds weight to you whether you’re aware of it or not.

Have you ever eliminated something from your life — relationship, a crappy client, a bad habit — and felt physically lighter because of it?

Of course you have. Before planning what to do / acquire more of next year, consider what you’ll get rid of.

8) Your Individuality. As a senior in college sitting in business classes, I knew something was different about me. I didn’t care much about the classes, only enough to pass and graduate. I knew I wasn’t headed to a steady job at some company like most of my classmates.

But, the internet wasn’t THE INTERNET in 2004. So I felt like an outcast and somewhat of a slacker, too. And I looked like one after college, until the pro basketball thing worked. Then YouTube, blogging and publishing came along. And the rest was history.

But I knew back in 2002 that I wasn’t like everyone else. I knew my place wasn’t the same place as theirs. The fact that I didn’t let anyone or anything extinguish that flame in me is why you can read and listen to my words today.

Recapture and get acquainted with your individuality again. You had it as a kid, before the world and proper society taught you how to sit down, shut up and conform. The world pushes us to be like everyone else.

Remember that you are a One of One. Start living like it again.

9) Health. I’m an athlete. Being in shape is part of my life. I don’t even have to think about it. Not everyone lives like that, though.

Health is wealth. 2020 has reaffirmed this. People who were sick, weak or in poor health either succumbed to COVID, or had COVID worsen the issues they were already dealing with.

Look at my list from #6 above. I spend 3 hours doing things literally “for my health” every day before I start doing work stuff. Hopefully it helps me to live longer and fuller. Unless I get hit by a truck, then all of that healthy shit was for nothing.

When your body fails, the game is OVER. Make self-care a priority.

10) Free Will. 99% of your life is out of your control.

I think of this every time I’m on a plane and the flight takes off.

Last week my home internet ($110/month, with no other service options) didn’t work for nearly an entire day.

A book publisher owes me money that they’ve taken over a month to get to me, despite my cussing out their accounting department via email (they don’t let you reach them by phone, because I would) multiple times this month.

You only control 1% of what remains of life. That’s mostly in your attitude about the 99% that you don’t control.

Any time some big news story happens — we had many in 2020 — it reminds me just how little people understand about the 99% vs the 1%.

Anything that can be shown on the “news” is in the 99%. You can’t stop it or control it. You can talk about it and have it affect you in whatever way. You can’t even control the results of your own actions sometimes. I can't make you read this article or listen to the latest episode of the show. I can only put it out and see what happens.

All you control with your 1% is the energy and attitude you bring every day. Two people with different attitudes can see the same situation in completely different ways.

Trying to control outcomes will drive you crazy. Control your BEING.

11) Doing What You Wanna Do. 80% of your __________ (happiness, income, energy, other positive result) comes from 20% of the things you do to create these results.

If you spend an hour in the gym, 12 minutes of that session is producing most of your muscle. The rest of it is stretching, drinking water, playing on your phone, checking out the cute guys/girls, and dead time you spend in the gym because you feel you need to work out for an hour to justify the membership.

20% of the SKUs in your store produce the majority of the receipts. You could drop all the other products. Yes — even if somebody just bought one today.

A handful of your clients are responsible for most of your business’s yearly revenue. Keep them happy and you’ll be fine.

An Instagram post of mine containing either a female, me with no shirt on, a pithy quote or playing basketball produces more “Likes” than all the other types of posts put together.

How much time do you spend every day doing what you feel you HAVE to do? Some of it is necessary to sustain you, maybe. But is ALL of it essential?

Probably not. Do LESS of things you don’t want to do (and things that don’t work). Think about how you could, at least, and see where it takes you.

12) Prioritizing Yourself. You have only one life to live. If you don’t value this truth by prioritizing you, no one else will. They’ll simply leverage your time and energy to work on their own priorities.

Put yourself first more often. You’ll help yourself, and be better suited for helping others.

Merry Christmas.

Listen to episode #1686: 12 Gifts To Give Yourself This Christmas at

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